Spoke with a psychologist and worked through my feelings. Like I thought, he said it's human nature to want to help me through my situation otherwise why would I have told people. I told people to gain perspective that was apart from my own. Me getting sick of being asked how I am could have been avoided if I didn't tell people is what he told me. And all my emotions are valid because hormones are changing.
I actually have mellowed out a bit since getting angry all the time. Some other advice he gave me was to spend the weekend before the procedure with myself, away from distractions and to mentally prepare. The incident after the ultrasound is just going to amplify he told me. He said whether a woman has a baby or decides to abort, the act of the baby exiting the body triggers an innate maternal instinct. He says that some women feel guilty and sad after the abortion and this feeling can stick with them forever, however there are women who do get over it. He said I should really prepare for that. I'm not really sure how but he said it's coming whether I want it to or not.
Apart from this, I got told to just take as much time off after. There's no rush going back to work. And to also have someone there before and after the procedure because it's easier to have support whilst it's there even if I don't need than to try and find someone to help if I'm on my own. I've organised friends to be there before and after.
It's Saturday and I feel okay for now. I feel like I'm going to have major anxiety either Sunday night or Monday morning, but I just have to get through it and not back out