My decision to abort - Part 14

I believe I've now got to a point where I don't think about this with sadness. I've got so much more to live for and as unfortunate an event, I've finally moved forward that it was a decision I made and learned from.


Thank you to everyone who supported me in this journey. I feel blessed that people would take the time out of their day to read the internal struggle of my life and be kind on my journey. I'm ready to close this off as I turn the pages over in my story.

My decision to abort - Part 13

Things are looking up. I had to ask myself "who is the person you want to be?".


I don't want this abortion to define me. I have to think about it as something that has happened in my life and something I have to grow from.


Just how exactly am I going to do this? Well, I'm looking at my spiritual path that I haven't fully explored to guide me out of this situation. I'm fortunate enough to believe in something greater than me to pull me through. It'll help me refocus on the person I want to be.


Some people suggested I speak to a professional, which I would normally turn to but because I've already been advised that all those feelings are normal and some women overcome them, that's good enough for me to not seek further advice. I'm entrusting my faith into my spiritual path. Of course, if I feel like I'm falling off the rails, I will speak to a psychologist again but I truly feel inside that I'm going to be okay.


Some lightbulb moment occurred last week about what I need to do. Thanks to a friend for linking me Mel Robbins 5 second rule which talks about our inability to make decisions that impose hesitation and self doubt. The difference between knowing what to do and actually actioning it. This 5 second rule is going to catapult me into looking after myself also.

My decision to abort - Part 12

I feel damaged. I feel the emptiness.

 

I have this innate fear that people will also view me as damaged. It's like I'm not me anymore. So I have to try and work towards finding me. Through all that darkness I have to guide her to the light. She stays in the shadows sometimes but tiny fragments are able to shine through.

 

Patience is everything right now. To curb the frustration I push on myself. Step by step, day by day.