My Current Challenge

Time passes... Life gets busy... We neglect our needs...

It's been months since I last wrote anything down. No thoughts, no ideas, nothing.

I joined James Patterson's Masterclass to instill some inspiration. Whilst listening to him speak, he talks about writing every day as if it's exercise and routine, so that the author is constantly writing, exploring ideas and expressing themselves. I have totally disregarded this notion. Something as simple as noting down how my day went, seems like such an arduous task. My lack in motivation comes from one year of looking for jobs, wanting to earn more in order to live more comfortably and the constant succession of failure has completely clouded my life. This grouped together with money being stolen and my back throwing out seem like a never ending bad luck streak. Writing, a hobby that brings me joy, gets knocked off the shelf because I let these deciding factors influence all aspects of my life. I'll be unmotivated to cook, clean, get up in the mornings sometimes, eat and work all because one tiny segment of my life is not going as planned.

I am very much self aware and know that I am the only person who has the power to change all of this. There is nothing wrong with wanting more in life, and I know I lack the patience, but it can honestly be so demoralising when you're trying so hard, only to repeatedly come up short. My mind has become so foggy with this bad turn of events that it's like you want to yell out #FirstWorldProblems! And it's okay to get bogged down but only if you live to fight on and crawl back out of your hole.

So, what am I going to do to change my situation? Well, I'm just going to get on with it. One task I was really good at was making a list to prioritise what I needed in life to make it better for me. I have completely forgotten about this but I'm going to stop being a sad sop and make a concerted effort to stick to this:

- Make a daily duties list
- Write every day whether on blogging or in a notebook
- Stick to my exercises to strengthen my back
- Make sure I eat on time
- Continue to plan my meals
- Spend more time with my cats
- Drink less alcohol
- Continue to participate in activities that enrich my life - reading, cooking and exercise for a start

So pray for me or send me good energy to help me on my way. I cannot continue the way I am or I'll get stuck way down in my hole and never want to come back out.

Here's to feeling good!

That's totally a glass of water! ^_^

My little tests

What better way to let go of thoughts... Life is challenging. It throws you tests every other day and you're there wondering how you are meant to deal with it?

What have I encountered in the last month. After a visit to my home town Perth, I encountered some family drama (as you do), my dog dying and baring my inner feelings to someone who couldn't return them. Let's just say biggest and shittiest timing I have encountered. Upon returning to Melbourne I've had fights with friends - shit that shouldn't even happen and I don't want to deal with and yet I'm always entangled... maybe because I care too much. I nearly had a break down at work - just one day everything was just too overwhelming but going through what happened prior to this, it just seemed the sequences of events was too much. Also, making stupid mistakes at work doesn't help. On top of this, I have had bowel issues that really needed attention and I went for a STD test to ensure I was clean, after having unprotected sex (like an idiot). Thank goodness I have people to share my testing issues with.

One by one all these issues have been ticked off my lists of things that I've overcome. All I can say is, I don't like sitting here in pain after having surgery which involved some anal probing. The next thing on my list is to get cracking on my animal studies and get back into a routine of studying (I'm finding it difficult) and finding a house to buy. My fuck, housing in Melbourne is excruciatingly painful. Painful in the fact that anywhere lovely is over 1 million. Maybe I need to work harder in gaining my footballer husband.

Is this post relevant to anything? Maybe... I just wanted to say that everyone has their own struggles and we shouldn't judge anyone before knowing what they might be going through. We are all fighting our own little battles no matter how significant or insignificant to some. I'm not saying my problems trumps over anyone elses issues. I know that people suffer worse than me. I am thankful my problems are easily solvable and I can deal with them provided I surround myself with positive people. It's amazing how my perspective changes with just some inspirational quotes you find on Facebook and how getting rid of toxic people and toxic issues just make your life better. It's so simple but I guess I need that random post to swim into my news feed for me to be reminded. Let me share with you some of my favs and hope that you too can make a difference for the better :)


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The update

I had a friend ask to update my blog, so here it goes.....

Because I am lazy and haven't read over my past few posts, I am not sure if I mentioned I went to see a psychologist. It actually was the best thing I could have done for myself. Originally, I went to talk about my sleep deprivation. I wasn't sure why I was getting only 3-4 hours of sleep per night. One day, I started messing up at work and my awesome team mate asked me if I was ok - I guess the lack of sleep caught up and I really wasn't ok. He had my back and took over my duties, which, to this day I will always remember that kind gesture. It really was a wake up call to get help.

I went to see the psychologist and he opened my eyes to the fact that I had gone through some major life changes ie/moving to a new city and going through a break up, so why would I be sleeping correctly? We talked about my situation, we talked about new adventures and set up some 6 month - 1 year goals. He opened my eyes to some new methods of thinking and gave me some of the best advice I had ever received. My immediate goals were to set up a network of friends and then start new hobbies. I have been socialising every week and I never knew how easy it was. I have met some great people through and recommend it to everyone who wants to make new friends without any obligation.

I am really happy with where I am right now. Happiest I have ever been. The freedom to do what I want, when I want, is something I have never had the chance to experience, so to be given this opportunity is a gift in itself. I keep in contact with my old friends and embrace the new. The best thing about Melbourne is that you'll never know who you are going to meet and just take in all that it has to offer. People seem to like me over here - I guess the freedom has opened me up and I have a likeable personality that intrigues people. I am in no way tooting my own horn but I am more myself and people get along with what they see. It's all very positive.

People in Perth seem to be settling down. I think being 29, that time is coming but in Melbourne, I don't have to worry about people getting married and having children as a constant reminder of things that I've lost. I am surrounded by a younger crowd and get to live in the moment and enjoy all the new influences around me.

I am stress free. I have no obligations. I am establishing myself. I love my life.