Everything Hits at Once...

Photo by  Krists Luhaers  on  Unsplash

When bad news comes, it comes in massive hits. There was some disappointing moments that occurred with myself and some work mates at our witchy job. I don’t think I’ll be returning there ever again, even though they helped me on my spiritual path. I got news last week that I was being made redundant at my full-time job. And, lastly my mother messaged my brother and I last week to tell us that they found a growth in her breast and she finds out Monday if it’s cancer.

I’ve started to believe that everything comes in threes and that may be a witchy thing, but I’ve found on my journey that things comes in threes and that it brings balance. I think this is a test of my own resilience. How I can process my emotions, to allow them to flow so that it leads to acceptance and then I can move forward from there. The worst is waiting for the news on my mother. The waiting game is not fun.

I haven’t had any focus on anything else at the moment. My main focus since discovering the news last week, is to think about securing a job. It’s why I stopped my regular blog posts for a few days because I just needed to process and switch off from the world. It’s a bit tough before the Christmas period too. Just that I don’t think many companies advertise jobs at this time. I am hopeful however. I think if I send out intentions of finding a job, then it will happen. I’m not worried or nervous at this point. As for my mum’s news, that I’m almost dying to know. I just need to know! It’s not nice having to wait on the worst possible news. I have prayed that it’s not serious and that whatever happens that my mum’s body heals from it.

That’s my life right now and I’m just taking it as it comes. I know I can conquer anything as that’s the most important thing. Sometimes we get challenged more in certain points in our life over other times. It will pass.

My Current Challenge

Time passes... Life gets busy... We neglect our needs...

It's been months since I last wrote anything down. No thoughts, no ideas, nothing.

I joined James Patterson's Masterclass to instill some inspiration. Whilst listening to him speak, he talks about writing every day as if it's exercise and routine, so that the author is constantly writing, exploring ideas and expressing themselves. I have totally disregarded this notion. Something as simple as noting down how my day went, seems like such an arduous task. My lack in motivation comes from one year of looking for jobs, wanting to earn more in order to live more comfortably and the constant succession of failure has completely clouded my life. This grouped together with money being stolen and my back throwing out seem like a never ending bad luck streak. Writing, a hobby that brings me joy, gets knocked off the shelf because I let these deciding factors influence all aspects of my life. I'll be unmotivated to cook, clean, get up in the mornings sometimes, eat and work all because one tiny segment of my life is not going as planned.

I am very much self aware and know that I am the only person who has the power to change all of this. There is nothing wrong with wanting more in life, and I know I lack the patience, but it can honestly be so demoralising when you're trying so hard, only to repeatedly come up short. My mind has become so foggy with this bad turn of events that it's like you want to yell out #FirstWorldProblems! And it's okay to get bogged down but only if you live to fight on and crawl back out of your hole.

So, what am I going to do to change my situation? Well, I'm just going to get on with it. One task I was really good at was making a list to prioritise what I needed in life to make it better for me. I have completely forgotten about this but I'm going to stop being a sad sop and make a concerted effort to stick to this:

- Make a daily duties list
- Write every day whether on blogging or in a notebook
- Stick to my exercises to strengthen my back
- Make sure I eat on time
- Continue to plan my meals
- Spend more time with my cats
- Drink less alcohol
- Continue to participate in activities that enrich my life - reading, cooking and exercise for a start

So pray for me or send me good energy to help me on my way. I cannot continue the way I am or I'll get stuck way down in my hole and never want to come back out.

Here's to feeling good!

That's totally a glass of water! ^_^