Hectic Life

Photo by  Ian Schneider  on  Unsplash

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

My June was hectic! I had a lot going on from belly dance practise for a performance at the end of the month and doing more magick. Seemed like I had quite a few people wanting to catch up with me and then I offered free readings and had over 40 to do! I really pushed myself to do so much in my life because I didn’t really feel like my work was giving me the best of attitudes.

13th July marks my anniversary day for dedicating myself as a witch. I still have so much to learn but I just didn’t realise how fast the year and a day turned. I haven’t figured out what I wanted to do as a self celebratory ritual but I think I will figure it out on the go – whatever comes naturally right? This anniversary coincides with a blood moon so lucky me! I think it will be a powerful night.

So many opportunities have been presenting themselves and I am so grateful the way my life has turned out. When I offered free readings, I realised that not everyone provides feedback and not everyone says thank you. I found this quite disappointing as I’m trying to learn and improve myself but to not say thank you, is just plain rude. I find that people can be impatient as well. Even when I said I would give a number and a day of the week I would have the reading done by, people would still message me. It was an eye opener to how to manage and deal with people as I want to make this into a business.

My belly dance performance was fun! I actually fell sick that day with a fever and felt a bit dizzy but I worked so hard for months to perform and I wasn’t going to miss it. The last time I performed was in high school and that was 17 years ago. I was quite nervous when I got on stage but when it was over, I felt so exhilarated! I was so proud of myself for pushing comfort zones and just going for it!

Tuesdays I still attend a group meditation and a lot of my messages have been to connect with my ancestors. I have so much work to do on this but since I keep getting repeated messages, I need to get on this! Wednesdays I have been filling with practise tarot nights and motivational magick with other witches. It has been great in getting me to perform magick more often because I don’t always make time for it.

I’ve been to quite a few gigs in June. Was quite magical in the sense of being free and listening to music with all these random people and sharing our love for that artist. I live for those experiences and don’t have any gigs until November now. So, I’m definitely just on the lookout to go to more unknown artists.

I also had my first live reading day with my medium skills. I have been doing a year course since August last year and didn’t know how I’d go doing readings for strangers. Sometimes I feel blocked and can’t always see loved ones crossed over or any guides. That day I had 9 spirits come through, both people and animals for 2 people I read for. It was just the confidence boost I needed to really propel me into the belief that I can do anything I set my mind to.

This month, I was offered to become a reader at the Muses of Mystery in Melbourne on Monday afternoons and it’s all very exciting! I was going to build up to that but it presented itself so I went for it! I am actually in the process of building my business and doing tarot reading at the same time. I eventually want to make this a full time job but at the moment, I will need to side hustle.

So my July was meant to be a rest month but I am finding that it might just be a lil bit hectic as I start my own business. Never actually dreamed of being my own boss but here I am, just going for it! When I figure out a website, business name and set up a way for people to pay or donate, then I shall advertise that so I can do readings for people. It’s an exciting time in my life and I didn’t know it would end up this way. Got to work hard to make this business a success!

Waking up to myself

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I haven't taken the time to write out my thoughts after what happened in mid-2017. I went through my depression and managed to get myself out.  I felt like I had to conquer it on my own, as I didn’t feel like anyone really understood what I was going through, and I managed to gain some tools to move forward. In that, I started my spiritual journey.

The most significant thing I did after this was go on a life-changing trip. I travelled to a Thai village named Surin with a company called Bamboo. The aim is to provide education to the locals to reduce animal exploitation which has been supported by the Queen. But government money isn’t always enough to feed, look after and house an elephant, so through volunteering organisations like Bamboo, they encourage people to have an adventure whilst helping and giving back to the local community. The money paid for the trip goes back into the village in some way: helps out the Mahouts (elephant keeper), builds better water supply, goes to the hosts that put up volunteers, helps with food for the elephants etc. The idea behind organisations like Bamboo is to spread education such as reducing elephant crushing also known as breaking the spirit, split the will or Phajaan, whereby a baby elephant is tortured in order for their spirit to be broken and become submissive to their owners will. They also teach Mahouts that tourists are happy to walk alongside an elephant and don’t need to ride their backs nor do they need to train elephants for the purpose of entertainment. 

I believe the main challenge I had was actually getting to Thailand on my own. That was a scary prospect to travel to a country where you don’t know the language, and could easily get lost anywhere in that country. I was thankful that it all worked out and told myself that if I couldn’t find the person picking me up, to attempt a call and if no one answered, buy a ticket back home. There was always going to be a solution to the problem. What I learned on my trip was that we overcomplicate our lives in Western society. I enjoyed the simple things and could see that these villagers were happy with what they had. I mean sure, everyone has their own set of worries, but even so, these people didn’t seem to be plagued with the problems like we seem to have. It was such a tight-knit community and people were readily available to help each other out. I certainly don’t feel a sense of community living in Melbourne though it’s definitely something I want to seek out now. 

I think what I also learned, is that what we worry about in Western society doesn’t really matter in the end. If we aren’t living a life of helping the less fortunate and marking a mark to help a fellow human out or protect this earth and all its beings, then we’re not really making a positive impact. I used to be a person who didn’t care about environmental impacts because it was never at the forefront of my mind. I barely saw such hard-hitting topics forced in my face, and because of this trip, have been seriously thinking about the life I want to lead. It was such a tough time coming back to “my world” and realising: I don’t like the life I lead. We’re so heavily driven by consumerism to the point we don’t actually realise that has such a negative impact on the world we live in. I think about the changes I want to make in my life to be better. Amazing what a short 2 week trip can do to change your perspective!

Anyway, please find some snaps of my trip. I actually had a moment with one of my elephants placing my head on hers, which by the way, is very dangerous but I took a chance to gain some connection. Elephants can still run and crush you, they can wrap their trunks around and squeeze you, which wouldn’t be fun. It was a beautiful, gentle moment which I can’t really place into words. Imagine thinking about what you know about connecting with another being and then transcending what you know. That’s as much as I can really describe it.

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I wrote out my goals for 2018 on this piece of paper. I did the same for 2017 but didn't gain much traction after having my own setback. I do feel good about this year though. With my 2 x 365 day challenges it's given me such great focus in such a short amount of time. I have to blog daily in order to share my experience through both of those challenges, and then, that has a flow on effect to my other goals. I hadn't picked up a book really in the past 6 months and I've started to do that again. I draw when I feel like it and I am learning Portuguese. Belly dance classes start in February and I am currently trying to sell things I don't use in order to fund other goals I have on this list. I am in more control of my finances after reading Barefoot Investor so that's another worry I won't have. I'm so looking forward to what this year will bring. I work in a witch shop called Muses of Mystery every Saturday for my own personal development, and have met so many good people, that I really feel more sense of belonging than I ever have. As I develop my own beliefs and abilities, I continue to grow to no bounds. It'll be exciting to see where I end up by the end of the year. What I really need to buckle down on is finding a charity that I want to volunteer for as I feel like it's a great step towards the person I want to be. I need to do more research on this. Another thing I hope to find this year is some love. Got to place myself out there in order to receive right? Anyway, I've done enough typing and I should probably stop before this becomes a book. Cheers to 2018!!

My Current Challenge

Time passes... Life gets busy... We neglect our needs...

It's been months since I last wrote anything down. No thoughts, no ideas, nothing.

I joined James Patterson's Masterclass to instill some inspiration. Whilst listening to him speak, he talks about writing every day as if it's exercise and routine, so that the author is constantly writing, exploring ideas and expressing themselves. I have totally disregarded this notion. Something as simple as noting down how my day went, seems like such an arduous task. My lack in motivation comes from one year of looking for jobs, wanting to earn more in order to live more comfortably and the constant succession of failure has completely clouded my life. This grouped together with money being stolen and my back throwing out seem like a never ending bad luck streak. Writing, a hobby that brings me joy, gets knocked off the shelf because I let these deciding factors influence all aspects of my life. I'll be unmotivated to cook, clean, get up in the mornings sometimes, eat and work all because one tiny segment of my life is not going as planned.

I am very much self aware and know that I am the only person who has the power to change all of this. There is nothing wrong with wanting more in life, and I know I lack the patience, but it can honestly be so demoralising when you're trying so hard, only to repeatedly come up short. My mind has become so foggy with this bad turn of events that it's like you want to yell out #FirstWorldProblems! And it's okay to get bogged down but only if you live to fight on and crawl back out of your hole.

So, what am I going to do to change my situation? Well, I'm just going to get on with it. One task I was really good at was making a list to prioritise what I needed in life to make it better for me. I have completely forgotten about this but I'm going to stop being a sad sop and make a concerted effort to stick to this:

- Make a daily duties list
- Write every day whether on blogging or in a notebook
- Stick to my exercises to strengthen my back
- Make sure I eat on time
- Continue to plan my meals
- Spend more time with my cats
- Drink less alcohol
- Continue to participate in activities that enrich my life - reading, cooking and exercise for a start

So pray for me or send me good energy to help me on my way. I cannot continue the way I am or I'll get stuck way down in my hole and never want to come back out.

Here's to feeling good!

That's totally a glass of water! ^_^