August Self-Care

Photo by  rawpixel  on  Unsplash

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

I took some time off work to just get away from it. I don’t have anything in particular planned but I wanted to focus on myself. I think self-care is important and it’s for my own sanity. So far I have decluttered my clothing again, make-up and kitchen. It’s been good in that regard.

I celebrated my 34th birthday and realised that birthday celebrations are a bit overrated so I may just not celebrate any further. I don’t feel the joys of it like I used to and that’s more than okay. I think I’m growing out of it.

I have so much work to do in regards to my writing and business. I keep getting messages to just start. Doesn’t matter of what’s right or wrong but just initiating some movement on them is a step in a forward direction. I’m just stuck at the moment of nothingness. Sometimes I feel so tired to do anything and I guess these 2 weeks I’ve taken off will allow me to just rest. Maybe that’s all I need right now.

I feel like time escapes me a lot. It’s not that I sleep in often during this time off, but before I know it, it’s 3pm and I don’t know where the day has gone. I’ve been trying to create a space that I like living in for some time and I thought I would focus on just that, but also setting up my business is important too. I’m like torn on how to spend my time. At the moment, I’m just trying to do what I can.

A positive is that I finished learning an oracle deck and I’m ready to start my next one. I have caught up on my blogging that I was a bit behind on. I feel like I need to study more in my witchcraft and do a lot of reading which I haven’t been motivated to do.

The thing that kind of hindered my spirit was a tax bill from 2017 because my employer hadn’t taken the right amount of money out. Have yet to do taxes for 2018 but I feel like I’m going to have the same dilemma. I think it was a wake up call to be wiser with my money. I want to save so I can go travel next year as I wasn’t able to go this year. Got to clear my debts out before I got travelling further I think.

I have a lot of catching up with people to do also. Again, finding time is my current problem. Is there a way to extend time? Or be in 2 places at once? I would love that. If I could stretch myself in this way, I feel like I’d get so much more done.

At the moment, it’s busy but I just got to keep making tracks, even if they are small tracks.

My decision to abort - Part 14

I believe I've now got to a point where I don't think about this with sadness. I've got so much more to live for and as unfortunate an event, I've finally moved forward that it was a decision I made and learned from.

Thank you to everyone who supported me in this journey. I feel blessed that people would take the time out of their day to read the internal struggle of my life and be kind on my journey. I'm ready to close this off as I turn the pages over in my story.

My decision to abort - Part 13

Things are looking up. I had to ask myself "who is the person you want to be?".

I don't want this abortion to define me. I have to think about it as something that has happened in my life and something I have to grow from.

Just how exactly am I going to do this? Well, I'm looking at my spiritual path that I haven't fully explored to guide me out of this situation. I'm fortunate enough to believe in something greater than me to pull me through. It'll help me refocus on the person I want to be.

Some people suggested I speak to a professional, which I would normally turn to but because I've already been advised that all those feelings are normal and some women overcome them, that's good enough for me to not seek further advice. I'm entrusting my faith into my spiritual path. Of course, if I feel like I'm falling off the rails, I will speak to a psychologist again but I truly feel inside that I'm going to be okay.

Some lightbulb moment occurred last week about what I need to do. Thanks to a friend for linking me Mel Robbins 5 second rule which talks about our inability to make decisions that impose hesitation and self doubt. The difference between knowing what to do and actually actioning it. This 5 second rule is going to catapult me into looking after myself also.