Everything Hits at Once...

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When bad news comes, it comes in massive hits. There was some disappointing moments that occurred with myself and some work mates at our witchy job. I don’t think I’ll be returning there ever again, even though they helped me on my spiritual path. I got news last week that I was being made redundant at my full-time job. And, lastly my mother messaged my brother and I last week to tell us that they found a growth in her breast and she finds out Monday if it’s cancer.

I’ve started to believe that everything comes in threes and that may be a witchy thing, but I’ve found on my journey that things comes in threes and that it brings balance. I think this is a test of my own resilience. How I can process my emotions, to allow them to flow so that it leads to acceptance and then I can move forward from there. The worst is waiting for the news on my mother. The waiting game is not fun.

I haven’t had any focus on anything else at the moment. My main focus since discovering the news last week, is to think about securing a job. It’s why I stopped my regular blog posts for a few days because I just needed to process and switch off from the world. It’s a bit tough before the Christmas period too. Just that I don’t think many companies advertise jobs at this time. I am hopeful however. I think if I send out intentions of finding a job, then it will happen. I’m not worried or nervous at this point. As for my mum’s news, that I’m almost dying to know. I just need to know! It’s not nice having to wait on the worst possible news. I have prayed that it’s not serious and that whatever happens that my mum’s body heals from it.

That’s my life right now and I’m just taking it as it comes. I know I can conquer anything as that’s the most important thing. Sometimes we get challenged more in certain points in our life over other times. It will pass.

It's Been Eventful

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I don’t seem to blog about my feelings lately as I seem so busy these days. With Mondays dedicated to dance, Tuesdays dedicated for meditation, I’m finding the other days fill up as well. I have started a sacred circle with 2 people I met along my path. I believe the Universe sent them along my path and I wasn’t seeing the message to connect. Well I finally listened and I think it will work towards my witchcraft quite nicely. We have a good connection and I have much to learn from them and them from me.

My mediumship classes are showing me how much my skills are expanding. I did 6 one card readings yesterday for strangers and it seemed to have really resonated with them. I am doing another 12 -13 readings today and tomorrow. I am excited with how my skills are developing and I am helping people. This is what I was made for. As I keep practising, I’m gaining more confidence in the feedback these people give me. It’s quite promising.

Work is much of the same though I finally got a manager. I have been suffering anxiety and spoke with a counsellor not long ago to give me steps to overcome this situation. She told me to be more mindful and really be more present. Don’t think about work on the way to work, but listen to music and start paying attention to my surroundings. On top of this, I’ve started dancing in the morning to get exercise in and taking regular breaks at work so I am not so anxious. It’s really been helping.

My meditations are getting into some more deeper symbols. Because I don’t know what these mean, I ordered a symbology book to help understand what these can mean and give me guidance. A lot of what I see for myself are symbols and it’s hard to interpret. I also did my first tarot reading for myself with a deck I bought when I was in high school. Never really touched the deck until now (some 15 years later), so I am starting to learn this also. My first reading on myself said if I’m not careful, I will stretch myself thin both physically and spiritually, so I really need to focus on my health and just general well-being. Last week I felt so drained and it was really odd. I feel fine now as I asked a clear quartz crystal to help energise me, but maybe that was a cry for help from my body to just take it easy. I may also go have a blood test to see how I’m doing. The overall message from my tarot reading was that I’m connected to these other 2 in my sacred circle and they will assist me.

Apart from this, I spent some time in nature – I visited Lorne in Victoria which was a nice coastal city and the Dandenong Ranges had some nice forest and greenery. I think I am very much earth element and when I spend time in nature, I feel so calm and peaceful. I can’t wait to spend more time there when I can. I see my skills spiritually are expanding and there is so much more to come! If anyone wants a card reading, please let me know as I’m open and not charging for them as I’m still learning.

Oh Dear.... It's Been Over a Month

Photo by  Nicole Mason  on  Unsplash

Photo by Nicole Mason on Unsplash

So I didn't realise that I hadn't written in this online diary in so long. The last 2 weeks have actually been busy, and this weekend, I've just taken some time to be alone. I've really needed this.

My routine is quite set on Mondays - I have belly dance and Tuesdays - I have meditation. The past 2 weeks I've had music gigs to go and I've really enjoyed them. I mean, that's what I live for these days. Apart from this, I have been catching up with people and I haven't given myself a much needed break. 

Work isn't any better and I still have no control over that situation. I have tried looking for jobs, but nothing has come up that has really grabbed my attention. It's the one area of my life that continues to drain me, and flows onto all the activities I'm trying to enjoy outside of work. I haven't written the story for my book in over 2 weeks. To me, it's kind of disastrous right now.

I continue to blog daily to keep up routine, but I get frustrated at the drain work has over me right now, and how it's impacting my life. Like, all I want to do is read a book or study paganism, but I don't have any mental capacity to just get this done. I'm really struggling and it's annoying. Work is so out of balance for me, that once resolved, then my life will be fine. Well, that's what I believe anyway.

I just feel behind on my life goals. How does one gain more energy when you know what the problem is, but can't do anything about it? It's just a messed up situation to be in and I can only hold patience.

On some good news, I see my mediumship skills starting to really expand. My latest class from Sunday showed a major power shift and my teacher advised that we're all going to catapult from here. I feel both scared and excited, though more excited than anything. I want to practise more readings and get more skills. I think I can really do something good in this world through this work. The most exciting part was finally seeing the god Apollo when I've been wanting to "see" him for so long. I became attached to him from a card deck and he was a duplicate card, which showed to me that he was meant to be one of my guides. I've always connected to angel Ezekiel, Apollo and Mother Earth Gaia as my trio set. Apollo was the last guide that I hadn't actually seen, and this power shift was where he presented himself. It was a happy time for me! For anyone reading this, I saw this via a guided meditation.

So, I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, and hope the work situation really sorts itself by end of April.  All I want is more power and strength to get through the days, so I can get to my life goals.