I went on holiday to the Maldives to reflect and refresh. Unfortunately I was ill throughout the whole trip with some bacterial infection and whilst dealing with those frustrations, I had time to think.
I started feeling sad about my abortion but also angry. I feel like it shouldn't have happened to me and I started questioning why I had to go through it.
As I thought about my life I felt very alone. It didn't help that I went on a trip with a married couple, as it seemed like a constant reminder of the things I don't have in my life. It was very lonely and I had this unsettling feeling that maybe the decision I made to abort wasn't the right one. I wouldn't have a baby to curb my own loneliness, but it was just something that popped up.
I feel like it's very had to articulate what thoughts were going through my head. It's a constant feeling of being unbalanced and a sense of missing something in my life. That's the only way I can best describe it