I have made progress. No longer am I completely blank. It made me overwhelming sad to have my nenek wish me well and bless me from afar. She sends me her prayers and love from Singapore. She wants me to stay safe and make a positive environment for myself.
I'm not sure why this made me want to cry. I sometimes forget about my relatives and that they might think of me and how I am doing. I know they want the best for me but I never once gave a second thought about my nenek caring and loving me every single day.
I should have been happy that she wished me well but as I think about it, I think I felt sad because I missed her and I could have really used a hug from her. Even though I'm not the nicest person to be around sometimes, it's comforting that someone out there loves me unconditionally no matter what I am.
As I sit here on the plane to Melbourne, tears welling up in my eyes, thinking about the people that love me, I know I am lucky to have supportive people in my life. I am shit scared but I know the people on the other side will keep me safe. I hope to create a new family with close friends and feel the same amount of love I do in Perth.
The journey begins...