The update

I had a friend ask to update my blog, so here it goes.....

Because I am lazy and haven't read over my past few posts, I am not sure if I mentioned I went to see a psychologist. It actually was the best thing I could have done for myself. Originally, I went to talk about my sleep deprivation. I wasn't sure why I was getting only 3-4 hours of sleep per night. One day, I started messing up at work and my awesome team mate asked me if I was ok - I guess the lack of sleep caught up and I really wasn't ok. He had my back and took over my duties, which, to this day I will always remember that kind gesture. It really was a wake up call to get help.

I went to see the psychologist and he opened my eyes to the fact that I had gone through some major life changes ie/moving to a new city and going through a break up, so why would I be sleeping correctly? We talked about my situation, we talked about new adventures and set up some 6 month - 1 year goals. He opened my eyes to some new methods of thinking and gave me some of the best advice I had ever received. My immediate goals were to set up a network of friends and then start new hobbies. I have been socialising every week and I never knew how easy it was. I have met some great people through and recommend it to everyone who wants to make new friends without any obligation.

I am really happy with where I am right now. Happiest I have ever been. The freedom to do what I want, when I want, is something I have never had the chance to experience, so to be given this opportunity is a gift in itself. I keep in contact with my old friends and embrace the new. The best thing about Melbourne is that you'll never know who you are going to meet and just take in all that it has to offer. People seem to like me over here - I guess the freedom has opened me up and I have a likeable personality that intrigues people. I am in no way tooting my own horn but I am more myself and people get along with what they see. It's all very positive.

People in Perth seem to be settling down. I think being 29, that time is coming but in Melbourne, I don't have to worry about people getting married and having children as a constant reminder of things that I've lost. I am surrounded by a younger crowd and get to live in the moment and enjoy all the new influences around me.

I am stress free. I have no obligations. I am establishing myself. I love my life.


Everything will work out the way it's supposed to...

The title of this post is actually a quote from Eureka - the TV series. I had forgotten about it. I find this particularly funny as it's a quote I usually live my life by. I'm not sure why I had forgotten about it. It's really just a motivator to keep telling myself that life isn't so bad and like it says "everything will work out the way it's supposed to". The only reason why I remembered this quote, is because, I got annoyed with Facebook telling me to update me info so I gave in, updated my info and re-stumbled on it. Is re-stumbled even a word? I think not but I can't be bothered checking.

For me right now, I feel I really need this. I have lost hope. I am losing hope and faith in humans. It took a friend telling me that she would have hope for me when I didn't have it for myself. I really love her for it and I think it's especially amazing to be blessed with people like that in my life. I actually have this hope for her as she is such a beautiful, loving person and I do hope that the most wonderful guy will one day see all these qualities she has. Funnily enough, upon saying that, she said that's how she felt for me.

So although there can be real asshole type people in the world and I can be too trusting, nice and caring for people, I have been told to try and be selective to whom I am nice to. This is hard for me because I am nice to everyone until they prove that they are bad people. I guess I need to be more cautious - pretty sure that's not the word I am looking for. Being burned is good because it sets me up to be stronger for next time. Or next time I won't like the people who are obviously no good to begin with because I didn't want to believe they would be that way.

I will sit here and ponder some more about how to be selective with  my niceness....





Am I an inspiration?

I am just a regular person. I have not contributed anything profound in this world. The more I talk to friends, the more people say I am brave.... Brave to take a big step and go for what I want. To drop everything, and, move to another city after a major life changing event is considered brave. Taking steps that totally uprooted my life from one place and changing it completely in another state seems to impress people. Some people wondered how I did it. I just think, that when you have nothing to lose you have to ask yourself, "why not?".

I don't consider myself to be brave. I got given a certain situation and had to make a choice. Besides being "brave" in moving to a new city, people have mentioned that I am brave in meeting new people. Although I have minimal friends, I have no problem meeting strangers - some of whom will most likely become some of the closest friends I will have in my life. I just think no one is truly alone unless they make themselves that way. I just be myself, target people with common interests and voilà, friends made! Of course, I freaked out about the choice I made about moving to Melbourne but who doesn't have self doubt. I think I have settled in enough, to know that getting where I need to, will slowly progress at a pace I want it to.

What made me realize that I gave people hope was when an old uni friend told me she was inspired by me. I never thought that I would have that impact on others. It was only when she uttered these words that I realized maybe I am an inspiration to others. I don't know how I got to this position, and, I feel like I am instigating positive change in others. I have been given the opportunity to show others that you can go for anything you want if you "just do it". I guess I am making others reassess their lives, and because they watch me do it (triumphing from a devastating situation), then I can only assume they see how easy it can be and they want more for themselves. Life is only hard if you make it hard for yourself. I am trying to keep my life as simple as possible for now.

So, I don't want to sound like a cocky asshole in writing this, but I feel that I am a catalyst for change in others, and, if it wasn't for my major life change, some people would not even begin to compare my situation against theirs. You can't sit around being sad that life hasn't gone according to plan. You need to make the change yourself because no one else is going to do it for you - why would they? You need to live life how you want to. It can be scary but at the end of the day, only you can make yourself happy. Push yourself - that's all I did.


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