Day 186 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Do You Know Your True Self...

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Lesson 186: Do You Know Your True Self...

Along the way we forget our true selves. As a child we have dreams and goals that don’t seem unattainable because we hold that innocence that allows us to have such high hopes. As we grow older and integrate ourselves into the world, not only are we faced with certain realities but self-doubt, fears as well as doubt from others projecting their fears onto you, start to flourish in our lives. I believe these things aren’t intentional but just how society is built. As we learn in our surroundings and from those around us, pursuing our best interests aren’t always attainable when you have to work, to have a roof over your head and to eat, and somehow you lack the time to follow your dreams. Sometimes I believe working hard to save money is also something you have to do to really pursue your dreams on the side. I think we somehow get lost in amongst all this pressure in getting a job that we lose ourselves and our true self along the way.

I wanted to explore witchcraft and any form of spiritual connection to the other side when I was in high school. I bought oracle cards and used them, and also bought a tarot deck and didn’t know how to use those. Then I met my then boyfriend who said because we were Catholic we didn’t believe in all that (in reference to witchcraft), I foolishly listened and didn’t pursue it any further. I think that was the first step in losing my true self.

Here I am 16ish years later, finally being woken up to what I truly want to do in my life and I have never felt better! I had to think about what I wanted to pursue in my life through interests and hobbies. As I started to think about what I wanted as a child and teenager but didn’t have the confidence to follow through, I decided to do them now at 33. I don’t think it’s too late to follow your dreams. I now practise a way of life I want to lead and doors of opportunity have opened wide. I am now going to start working as a tarot reader for a witch shop here in Melbourne and look to starting my own spiritual practise. I think my true self is coming to the surface and it took some time to come about, but I’m glad that it has. I don’t want to neglect what I truly want to do in life and I’m not turning back.

Day 39 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Stop Comparing Yourself

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Lesson 39: Stop comparing yourself...

You know what we tend to do a lot without realising? Comparing ourselves to others and that’s when we start to think we don’t have enough and/or others having it good. I’ve been a culprit of this many a time. Questions that may go through your head include “Why isn’t my life good?” “Why are they so lucky?” “Why can’t my life be like theirs?”. These are just a few but I’m sure you’ve had this happen at least once.

We really need to do away with this thinking. We are here to live OUR own life and have OUR own experiences. That shouldn’t be compared to someone else’s experience because they have their own perspective on the situation, appreciate the moment differently to you and hold value in different ways. The way you experienced a situation, is not the same as how someone else has experienced it, and never will be.

Today’s lesson revolves around understanding that everything we experience is for us alone for our own soul growth and healing. I am to take a moment to think about who I am envious of, to understand that it’s a whole person with a unique path and to think about myself in this way too.

Fortunately for me, I am not envious of anyone, as I have done away with thoughts of what I lack, and of what other people have. I am working very hard to achieve all that I want to in life and have done away with caring about what others think of me. I live my life how I want to and that’s the way everyone should live. I learned that I shouldn’t compare myself to anyone else, because they have their circumstances, and I have mine. It’s like learning a hard truth when you didn’t realise that you thought that way. I live my life very differently now. I know I am the only person to make changes in my life for the better. Sure, people will assist you but they are not going to help you achieve your own happiness overall. When people can be accountable for their life, be aware to what needs to change to make it better, they actually start “living”.

Day 5 - A Year to Clear - New You

Lesson 5: New You

This week's lesson focuses on the "New You", but in actuality, it has always been inside you. This version of yourself seems new to you but actually isn't. Behind all the layers, there is the truest version of yourself. You may envision your "New You" as a playful and curious child or an old lady reminiscing about her successful life. So the question is asked "What does your "new you" look and feel like?"

I see myself as a discoverer - a person amazed by wonder. When I learn, it excites me. Even though I'm doing it now, I feel like there is so much more potential. My "new" me is more carefree and not bogged down by trivial matters. She is free-spirited and really indulges in life, is full of laughter and has all the time in the world for everyone. She loves every being and everything the universe has to offer. I always envision her running around in a field on a mountain that overlooks more of nature's gifts. She is always surrounded by good people who appreciate her journey. 

This is the person I strive for. This is the person I'm going to be. There is nothing stopping me from being this person.

Day 3 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Karmic Crossings

Lesson 3: You will have many karmic crossings...

I honestly had to google karmic crossings as this a foreign concept to me. I wasn't sure if that meant you've done things that causes karma to come back to you, and in a way, it is yes. Karmic crossings focuses on the souls you've come across in your journey, whether this lifetime or another that serve a soul lesson. They can be described as soul mates, as everyone that crosses your path is a soul mate, but the level of complexity of these particular relationships is how learn in this particular life time. There are 3 karmic crossings, I learned: Neutral Karmic Crossings, Complex Karmic Crossings and Cooperative Karmic Crossings.

• Neutral Karmic Crossings are those people you interact with but don't really teach you any lessons. They don't bear much energy, cross your path but aren't in your immediate soul circle. Examples of this are acquaintances you meet through a friend, a short dating stint you had back in the day, a person you interacted briefly on the train - short and quick that you would probably never remember.
• Complex Karmic Crossings are those people you interact with that present big karma, soul lessons. They are usually so full of drama that they aren't completed in this lifetime. This usually involves abuse, anger, resentment, betrayal etc. There are larger lessons to learn that each party will learn from but it's good to let go of the unhealthy toxic relationships because you'd be resolving this in other lifetimes to come or you're dealing with this from a previous lifetime.
• Cooperative Karmic Crossings are meant to be those you seek out for life. They are deep relationships that can work through the lower and negative lessons to transform into a cooperative beautiful transcendence of love, support, kindness and patience.

So details of the Lesson Three: You will have many karmic crossings in this lifetime. Those who surround you now are familiar to you; most of them, you have known before. If you are jumping levels of consciousness in this lifetime, some karmic crossings, some relationships, may be new.

The exercise is to consider now, who is with you on your journey and what karmic lessons are you learning.

I don't want to reiterate yesterday's post fully, but I find that Joanna, Debra and Nasiha are definitely cooperative karmic crossings - those within my soul circle, transforming into their true selves and teaching me that it's okay for me to be myself, see me in my own development and I have the rawest conversations with. 

If I am thinking about outside this soul circle, I have many cooperative karmic crossings. I do have one major complex karmic crossing which is my relationship with my dad. I don't usually like to call him dad as I don't think he fathered me well, he mentally and emotionally abused me, and I cut that toxic relationship out of my life for now. When I am ready to forgive, then I will reestablish that relationship. When I think of all my cooperative karmic crossings, that would involve any person in my life at present. I have worked hard to cut negative people out of my life and when I spot toxicity, I'm quick to distance myself from it. It's not to say that I'm above it, but I would like to try and avoid it with a 10 foot pole.

When I think of friends that helped me in my life, Brett, Ben and David are friends who immediately welcomed me to Melbourne during a very tumultuous time, as I'd just broken up with my ex, moved interstate and they were the first set of friends, that I truly relied on to get me out of my funk. It wasn't necessarily to talk about my feelings, but to gain some independence, and knowing that I had the strength to stand on my own 2 feet. They are still good friends to this day.

Colin, gets a mention because even though I bonded over the Flash and Arrow (DC TV Series), this guy cares more about his friends more than he cares to admit. I feel like sometimes he stresses himself worrying about us. I met Colin through Ben and probably should have met him 5 years prior to my actual meeting with him, but I guess, he came into my life when he was supposed to. He has been there during my most darkest moments. He's fun, loving, shares my sci fi passion and has got all the time in the world for his friends- something I do cherish and sometimes forget to share myself.

Amena is a friend I met through work. Didn't know if I'd get along with her if I'm going to be honest, as when paired together, we look like the most unnatural of friendships, but I think this is why it works so well. I think I came into her life so she could express herself more, not having to be closed off all the time and she came into mine, so I can be more bold. It doesn't matter what people think, just be who you are. Fuck the haters, so to speak.

I could go on listing people but these are the people on my current journey (I would say those in my Melbourne life) that stand out for major karmic crossings. Every friend has made impact, but these are my friends who came at stand out points in my life of recent times. Whether it was tragedy, loss, hard times, transformation and transition, these friends have helped guide me whether they know it or not. I am grateful for their presence in my journey as I am all my friends and family. 

Day 3 - A Year to Clear - Shedding Layers by Shedding Light

Lesson 3: Shedding Layers by Shedding Light

Today's lesson focuses on what we want to achieve during the course. How we are going to strip away layers on our path of discovery, whilst untangling our self. We want to be less wound up, be more open, have a simpler way of doing things, do away with our conditioned thinking and move forward in a more spacious home and life.

We were given this template on what we want to achieve:

• How I hope to feel as a result of clearing what no longer serves and supports me is______
• What I hope to let go of is______
• What I hope to attract is______

After some contemplation, I have come up with the following:

• How I hope to feel as a result of clearing what no longer serves and supports me is being free and being open to all possibilities.
• What I hope to let go of is wasted negative space and thoughts.
• What I hope to attract is kindred spirits and the true life I want to lead