Being alone makes you reflect

As I embrace my new chapter there are so many things I am grateful for. Even though I have lost so much, I am lucky to have experienced what I have in my life so far. From all the negative things that may have happened, I still turned around my thinking, to look at the positives. I can safely say that I had the opportunity to love and have that loved returned. Not everyone gets to experience this in their lifetime so I am, one of the lucky ones. I think it's an amazing thing to give your heart away to someone and having the love of another human being. Besides the obvious, of having family and friends love you, it's exciting to meet a stranger, develop a relationship and learn what it is to love. It truly is an indescribable feeling.

I am grateful that I have supportive friends and family. In my experience, the most unlikely people to make sure I was ok every day were people I was not necessarily close to. Most people would think going through what I went through, I would want my own space - and yes, to a certain extent I wanted to clear my head and move forward, but it was nice to have people (whom I never imagined would care as much as they did) message me to cheer me up and check in that I wasn't at a point of losing it. I'll just say that humans can surprise you.

Not everyone gets to fulfil their dreams. One of my dreams is to live in another city. Although I did not come here on the best of circumstances, I still get to live out my dream. Just being lost in another atmosphere, starting from scratch, developing new relationships and discovering a new world gives me the opportunity to learn for myself. I get to capture moments that are significant to me and get to keep for myself forever. I grew up in Perth, and, am one of those people that want to see the world. Being on my own means I get to learn about myself also.

They say all the small things count. Never had I known, that being able to buy furniture and home wares be something that I'd enjoy. Being able to create a living space that captures my style and personality is really new to me. It might not be a profound life changing moment but it gives me some sense of organisation and fulfilment. I like the feeling of creating something on my own and being proud of it.

As I lay here truly thinking about the positive things that I have, I know deep down that life is not bad. It's these positives that will help me move forward. I know I have so much love to give when I find the strength to offer it again. I can only hope that the people surrounding me offer their love in return.

LiLi

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