Day 31 - A Year to Clear - Feeling vs Emoting

Photo by Smile Su on Unsplash

Photo by Smile Su on Unsplash

Lesson 31: Feeling vs. Emoting

“Feeling as a vehicle for clearing is not the same as emoting.
Feeling is not an expressive act but an ability to open up the channels that allow information — be it highly charged or not — to simply pass through us.”
— Stephanie Bennett Vogt

I’ve read today’s lesson over and over just to absorb it in my head. It’s taking awhile :P

What has been coming up lately is repressed memories that affected me at the time. I don’t hold onto these memories per se, it’s more like they don’t impact me. but they are in my subconscious resurfacing maybe to place the final nail in the coffin. I have been allowing this information to come through but I haven’t necessarily dealt with them all yet. I want to meditate tonight on it, learn the lesson and/or use compassion and then release it.  

I have had the memory of my mum’s ex-boyfriend come up and some nasty stuff he said to me. I have dealt with that and feel like it’s done and dusted. It came as a shock to me because I hadn’t thought about that in ages and didn’t understand it’s relevance. But, with this compassion awareness in one of the lessons, I then understood  what I needed to do. I feel like there will be a lot to confront but I know I’ll be happy once that day comes when there is nothing left buried. Now I have a lot of suppressed memories of ex-lovers popping up. I haven’t dealt with those yet but I will start meditating on them one by one. It’s not that I am avoiding them, it’s because a few came at once and I feel like I need to dedicate the right amount of time to each one. I feel like once I meditate on each of them, the information that is required will come to me and then I will release.

Day 30 - A Year to Clear - Feel to Heal

Photo by Oliver Pacas on Unsplash

Photo by Oliver Pacas on Unsplash

Lesson 30: Feel to Heal

Today we are to reflect on the following: Using our six senses reveals our blocks. If we are to be witness to those sensations without attachment, it will release these blockages. Any feelings and emotions that come up, we should let arise without judging them.

I have found a lot has been coming up from my intuition and sight. I can’t say I’ve used my sense of touch, smell, hearing or taste. I am foreign to the concept of using those other four senses for clearing though I’m sure this course will unfold it.

Recently I’ve been receiving images of past conflicts, buried memories and uncomfortable situations that I maybe didn’t fully deal with at the time. I’m actually happy that all of these circumstances that once bothered me are resurfacing. Why? Because then I can actually deal with it and release it. I want every nook and cranny of my mind to be free of these limiting thoughts. Even if I’ve associated it with a particular feeling, I want to be able to work through this, as part of my own personal growth. Like yesterday, two past lovers came up and I know I need to work through those as part of my release. I do not want anything buried in my subconscious to just linger. So as I’ve been given bit by bit, I can relate these back to the senses of intuition and sight – sight in the sense of replaying how it went down and recognising things I never noticed before.

Interested to know how the other four senses come about but I guess I won’t know until the time comes to use them.

Day 30 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - If You Are Not Happy...

Lesson 30: If you are not happy...

Today is all about self-reflection. If you aren’t happy in your life, why are you living it that way? Life is definitely a rollercoaster and it’s never meant to be easy. I believe the best times come out of the unexpected, because even though you may be thrown curve balls, it’s how you can triumph over it that makes you a stronger person. We should lose fear and really go with what life gives us.

I used to be quite unhappy but with some good dose of self-awareness, I was able to come to the conclusion, that only I have the power to change my life. Anyone can bounce back from the shittest of circumstances if you are willing to open yourself up for healing as well as learn the lesson being taught. I think I’m definitely a changed person from the most traumatic events of my life. I am opening up to how I can rise above my own personal circumstances and it doesn’t really seem so hard anymore. I used to be such a stress head that I would get to the point of feeling like I was going to vomit. I just don’t live that way anymore.

You’re probably wondering how did I achieve this? Well, it’s a lot of trust in something much larger than myself – that being the universe. If I can still live after the lowest and darkest point in my life, then I can do anything really. The only limit anyone has is themselves. It’s why I am trying to remember what I liked or wanted to do as a child and trying to implement them now as an adult. It’s never too late to achieve your dreams and goals. I also take pride in appreciating the simple things. Sometimes we are so blinded by a negative stint that we don’t stop and really have gratitude for the goodness in our lives. For example, I live in Australia – it’s one of the safest countries in the world, I have a roof over my head, I have a stable income, I have built a good support network, I can put food on the table. Simple things we sometimes take for granted when others are suffering more than we are.

I don’t worry about the future so much. I know what goals I have and I know what I have to do to achieve them. Obviously if I slack off then that’s my own fault. I don’t fear what’s coming. I don’t think anyone should. We all have bad cycles and good cycles. We just need to take the time to learn the lesson even if we don’t want to see it at the time. I’m surrounded by good energy and therefore if I maintain a positive outlook, no matter what the circumstance, I will lead a very enriched life. You build your own pathway. No one else builds your life for you. So what’s the worst that can happen by taking a chance?

Day 29 - A Year to Clear - Tuning In

Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

Lesson 29: It's Not About You

New theme for this new week - Tuning In.

I am to recognise that the work I am doing is not about me. It's about getting to the real me. The one that has been there all along but blocked by the person who I think is me. I had to read the text that Stephanie wrote a few times to just get it in my head.

I am trying to get to my truest version of me. Over the years, she's been lost inside with the clutter I have built around her. Bit by bit, I will get to her. Even though it's a slow pace, the truest version of me will reveal herself in time. I am in no rush as I've been told many times to appreciate the journey so that's what I will try to do. 

The question got asked, "What is wanting to reveal itself to you?". I have got messages from Spirit that it's just the beginning and everything will be okay. I think because of me being a perfectionist in how I approach tasks, I'm always wanting to get it right or I'm in a rush to complete the task. I need to slow down a bit more to absorb it all because it's not a race. I am meant to soar like a bird and when I do soar, it's where things will start to fall into place. I need a lot more trust in the universe and have more patience.

Day 29 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Miracles Are Not Magic

Photo by Jose Murillo on Unsplash

Photo by Jose Murillo on Unsplash

Lesson 29: Miracles are not magic...

“Lesson 29: Miracles are not magic; they are merely conscious creation; they are energy intended. Miracles are manifestations, and you can choose to create in any and all aspects of your life. The moment you believe this, it begins to happen.”
— Sara Wiseman

Today I am to thinking about what I’ve been asking for lately and also what have I been receiving. Added to this, what would I really like and if I can ask for it today.


I’ve been thinking about this book I want to write, more recently than not. I just feel like I didn’t know where to start… almost trapped. I have the concept but where do I go from here? I thought character development is what I should start out with, but then again, will the characters just come as I write? With so much thought about this book and how to start it, I felt like I got an answer yesterday with an oracle card telling me to just write, and if I did 1 page a day, by the end of a year, I’d have 365 pages. Makes perfect sense to me. Rather than focusing so much on details, the answer is to just write and see what flows. It’s why I took on these challenges for 365 days – to force myself to write. To gain a habit so that writing my book series would be a walk in the park. I think I’m doing really well at writing consistently, even if it’s just sharing my thoughts for the world to see.

Besides asking for guidance for this book, I want to get focus on my studies with witchcraft, which is always going to be a never ending sea of knowledge, but I haven’t been doing much lately. Just anything in my spiritual path, I want to get really stuck into the wealth of knowledge that is out there. Sometimes, the concentration lacks so I want more of that. I guess time is also a limiting factor and the 9-5 job really hinders me. I gain most of my insight late at night and into the wee hours in the morning. If I could somehow not have a 9-5 job, I feel more productivity would come out of me. Something I will meditate on and see what answers come on how to manage my time.

On top of this, I really want a partner. I think having someone to share your day with is something I really miss. It’s not the same with friends and family. It’s the ability to love and be love – to gain that feeling back. Although I have my independence, I want companionship. I think that sometimes I am not fully satisfied in life because I don’t have this partner I seek. I want to have someone fully understand me and I them. I truly feel like I’m at the best point of my life. There has been so much self-awareness and self-care, I’ve worked through loving myself again and accepting myself, that having a partner couldn’t come at a better time. I’ll see what manifests without pushing it. It’s something I tell myself (and others), it’d be nice to have.

I feel that in terms of receiving, I am slowly gaining the community I seek - people who are on the same path of paganism and mediumship. I am slowly meeting these people feeling better about myself that there are people learning like me, but also believe in everything I do also. It’s a shift that this world is going through, and I think our mindsets are changing in the right direction. What I have also received is a much peace within myself. I feel like there is so much more clarity within me and I am a natural healer through words. I think with such a level head, it gives me a one up sometimes. I have gained the perspective needed to be on my path but also help others. That I can master the small things in life but also the larger elements of life also. There is so much wisdom flowing through when there were stuck thoughts before. It’s like I’ve mastered myself – if that even makes sense. The clarity is just so clear and pristine, that nothing is going to bring me down mentally and spiritually. I find it hard to express this but can only hope you reading this can understand what I mean.

So I’ll go home soon and meditate on the things I want, but also thank for what I have received. I am feeling good today despite my lack in sleep. With this positive vibe, I’ll see what comes about when I ask.