Day 61 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - If You Seek Consciousness

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Lesson 61: If you seek consciousness...

Like yesterday, the theme of pain through one of our heart’s passages is the topic of discussion. Obviously pain is not an easy passage to experience. By being aware of it, it allows us to understand it, grow from it and develop as human beings. Pain to me is unavoidable but going through the motions of it builds us to be stronger individuals. I find that it’s just part of our human experience, whether we like it or not. Even if it is uncomfortable, which it’s most likely, we really start to mature from the understanding it can bring.

The question posed today is have you ever felt pain in your life and if the answer is yes, have you allowed the pain to go through or are you still holding onto it? Today is all about imagining yourself moving through the pain and being free of it. If you’d like this, it’s very much a question of are you ready?

When I imagine myself free of any pain or worry, I can picture myself very smiley and a greater pleasure to be around. Not saying that I’m not a good pleasure to be around now, it’s just that I look very carefree, lighter, brighter, fun and free. When I picture myself at that stage, it’s a most enjoyable time. I think like anyone, we have our reasons to hold onto pain and worry, which then shapes our reality and also how we deal with certain emotions and feelings. I can say I am working through my pain slowly. I know it’s due for release and I am very much aware of what I need to work on.

Spirit has been dropping in those buried memories that have really upset me in the past but I never dealt with at the time. I didn’t actually know how to deal with it and at times, I really let those upsetting things consume me and frame my mind. It’s only when I’ve become more self-aware that I’ve really looked at the painful memories with a different perspective. There is no need to suffer if you don’t want to. It’s about you working towards steps that will allow you to overcome them.

I don’t think all my releasing efforts is going to happen overnight. Every journey has its pace and I’m working at mine.  

Day 61 - A Year to Clear - The Highest Form of Intelligence

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Lesson 61: The Highest Form of Intelligence

“The ability to observe without evaluation is the highest form of intelligence.”

— Jiddu Krishnamurti

In the context of this course by Stephanie Bennett Vogt, that quote relates to clearing.

Honestly, it took me a few attempts to read that sentence only because I feel a comma is needed in it. Besides this minor detail, it’s a valuable life lesson. Just observe and absorb, but don’t judge – this is how I read the sentence. We shouldn’t judge ourselves nor should we judge others as a general rule of life. In the context of clearing, it’s more about being aware, observing any sensations arise, let those sensations be and not to judge yourself when those sensations and feelings start to manifest. Taking a moment to really observe those sensations and feelings is the key. Yes, it may feel overwhelming at first, and that’s a chance to just take a break from it. It’s a gradual clearing process and not a “race” as Stephanie repeatedly teaches. It’s not about the end goal per se, it’s more about how we can control feelings in the process, until we get to a point where it’s not overwhelming anymore. Clear your physical and mental space in your own time. Only you have the power over the management of your feelings and observations towards clearing.

Day 60 - A Year to Spiritual Awakening - In The Heart of Pain

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Lesson 60: In the heart of pain...

Today’s lesson is about the first passage of the heart – pain. We all experience pain in one form or another. When we are awake to our own pain and that of others, this is said to be the first step to “opening, awakening and becoming a conscious being”. The question is posed, would you rather remain stuck in pain that currently resides in your reality or would you rather face it? It’s really a choice that is up to us. We have the power of choice.

I must admit, as a teenager and a young woman in her twenties, I really remained stuck in my pain. I thought there was hope in the love of the partner that I had, but I really just pushed the pain down and never dealt with it. There was so much pain that started from a young age, expanded as a teenager and then really was ignored in my twenties. I also found a lot of the pain in my twenties was also amplified during and after that relationship. It wasn’t a good time. I had mental and emotional abuse of a father and then a relationship where my partner moulded me into someone I wasn’t, in which I lost myself along the way. In this relationship, I never had any confidence either, which I believe a relationship should do. Then from there, I’ve had some unfortunate events that just compounded a jaded view of some bad luck following me.

I think for me, I tried to live more positively but how long could I put a face on without really dealing with my issues? I realise now that I’m in my thirties, that all that pain doesn’t do much for you if you just wallow in it. Really holding onto those emotions has a flow on effect into your life, which doesn’t do you any good. It’s why I’m doing this course and my clearing course, because I find once I release everything, and I really do mean EVERYTHING, there will be so much of a weight lifted.

Day 60 - A Year to Clear - Feeling Check

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Lesson 60: Feeling Check

Today we are to check our energy level and all the current sensations we may be feeling – cold, sweaty, breathing heavily, hot? I am to notice if by paying attention if anything changes by this simple act. In addition to this, I am to notice if my energy level changed when I have no attachment to the outcome.

When I tried this exercise, I was just so tired at work. My mind was so cloudy, I couldn’t concentrate on anything for a few minutes. I was very much depleted and felt like I needed another hour of sleep. I was cold because the office was blasting aircon. Didn’t notice any bodily sensations. Honestly, I didn’t feel anything by simply paying attention. I was still cloudy and fogged up in the brain even when I had no attachment. Maybe it wasn’t the best day to try this exercise.

I mean, even as I sit here at home, my energy is picked up a little bit from earlier today, but that was more from seeing a friend after work and having dinner for a catch up. Maybe this is one of those days where it’s like, maybe it’s something to work on.

Day 59 - A Year to Clear - Space Clearing in a Nutshell

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Lesson 59: Space Clearing in a Nutshell

“Directing our attention and allowing the feelings to arise without doing anything to fix, manage or resist them, automatically changes the energy in the space.

This is space clearing in a nutshell.”

— Stephanie Bennett Vogt

I definitely feel like I’ve gone through a lesson quite similar to this one. It’s about drawing awareness to the feelings that arise when you’re trying to clear and allowing them to just flow. No matter how uncomfortable you may feel, it’s about embracing what comes and then release the thought or item, if needed. I believe I usually get a bit uppity when I have a large task to tackle, but lately with releasing thoughts, I embrace the truths that I need to, and then let go. It’s been healing for me, and I believe that’s because I am changing as a person, so a lot of thoughts and memories that I release, are those that don’t hold a positive purpose. I definitely feel “my space” changing as I am slowly transforming into a better version of myself. Even though what I'm facing can be confronting, I know it's something I have to face before it's release and I'm totally okay with it. I don't even care that I get uncomfortable anymore. I know the benefits I will gain by facing what I need to and letting go. When these lessons talk about feeling lighter, I know I definitely feel some weights lifted. It's kind of a refreshing feeling and I can only imagine the day when everything that needs to go, will go.