Day 36 - A Year to Clear - Weather Patterns

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Lesson 36: Weather Patterns

““Sweaty palms — weather. Shallow breathing — weather. Worry that I made a mistake — weather. Worry that someone will not care for the laptop I just gave away — weather. Memory of having something taken away from me as a child — weather. Grieving loss — weather.

Contrast those patterns with: acceptance — not weather. Trust that there is more where that came from — not weather. Witnessing the weather — not weather. Pure, clear, and uncluttered, these states of being are the real deal.”—Your Spacious Self”

— Stephanie Bennett Vogt

New week equals a new theme – “Watching the Weather”.

Stephanie mentions all the physical sensations, attachment and limiting belief as weather. These are the clouds that hang over us. The idea is that these weather patterns will lift to the point that we don’t personalise it anymore or identify it as our own.

I suffered anxiety today thinking about going to work today. We moved buildings and for some reason, my thoughts were overwhelmed by losing my way and not knowing where to go when I got there. On top of this, as I started walking to a different part of the city, I was even more overwhelmed by how crowded it was. There was just too many people at once and I wasn’t used to it that early in the morning. My last routine was in the quieter part of the city so it was all very new.

Not sure why I thought I’d feel so nervous when people in my workplace are friendly. It was very odd to get myself worked up over it. Based on this week’s theme, it shows I do have some learning to do in order to “witness the weather” rather than clouding myself. Looking forward to this week and what I’m about to engage in.

Day 35 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - When You Look At Money

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Lesson 35: When you look at money...

“Lesson 35: When you look at money as energy, you understand how easy it is to manifest and create the energy of money. You may do this easily, as your heart opens.”

— Sara Wiseman

I am still having trouble getting into the concept of money as energy. Today I am to write down my fears with money and ask myself if I really need to hold onto my fears. I am then I write “I am ready to release my fears around money” and see what happens.

My fears are pretty basic – that I’ll lose my job and not have money to support myself. I mean that’s my whole livelihood gone and because I’m clearing debts, it would mean I could potentially be drowning in money woes. I am afraid of just not having enough. I think I’m more afraid of not having enough in general. I have been in pretty bad situations where I was living week to week and couldn’t afford much of anything, so I don’t want to end up in those circumstances again.

Of course, I can stick to a good financial plan to chip away at this problem, but you just never know what factors that can happen that will impact you. All I have is to rely on myself solely. I do have a mortgage, so it’s more around not having money to pay that. I don’t have a partner so I don’t currently share expenses – in saying that, having a partner doesn’t necessarily improve your financial situation.

If money is just energy to flow through, then I have to look at it more positively. It’s a blessing to have a job and support myself, there are other people in this world with much less in worse situations and I have a good support network if needed. I think I need to approach money with gratitude, I dispense to the necessities and I slowly diminish my debt for better financial goals.

I am ready to release my fears around money… Let any worries be sent out to the universe and let my approach to money manifest in ways I’ve never known before.

 

Day 35 - A Year to Clear - Check In WEEK 5 - Tuning In

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Lesson 35: Check In WEEK 5 - Tuning In

Today is the last week’s theme check in of “Tuning in”. Very much focused on the senses that we tend to lead with, find out what it revealed about myself as well as viewing spaces differently and the people in them.

I learned more about what is developing within me. On this spiritual journey, I am opening up my mind, loving and accepting people more, whilst not trying to take on other people’s energy that may leave a cloud hanging over me. I am pleasantly surprised by things I pick up along the way that adds value to my life. I feel like I’ll be learning until the end. The wealth of knowledge that enhances my experience but also me as a person, just continues to grow and expand constantly. I also feel I gain a lot of my own insight and mental clarity through meditation and gain answers that are already within me. Funny how that works - We are wise if we choose to be No matter how we are guided, there are answers we can find if we just look within. We always need to start with ourselves before we can help others. I have never known that to be true, more so than now.

I know that spaces where I don’t feel right are the ones I will try to avoid. I think trusting those initial instincts mean everything. You aren’t a bad person for wanting to leave a room or avoiding it entirely if it doesn’t sit well with you. I know that I need to protect myself more from other people’s negative energy. Whether you choose to believe it or not, negativity spreads like wildfire. It can take one passing comment or feeling, to spread within people in a room. That collective energy is powerful and we should always try to turn it around into a positive environment. I know if it gets too much and I feel it in my body, I will just walk away. I can’t be around people who don’t want to reason and take on a better approach. It’s something I’ve noticed more in the last year or so, and I will continue to stand for my own values on this.

Even now I recognise I’m being dragged down from work and have some negative thoughts in my head. I am aware of them fully and actively trying to seek some goodness to enrich my life outside of work. It’s a bit tough managing but I know only I can turn it around. I know I will figure it out and work won’t bog my mine and exhaust me as it currently does. My work situation is definitely out of my control, but I need to take control on how I can feel positive at work. It’s tough when you spend most of your time there and i's now pushing me harder to work towards my goals.

It’s been a good week, honing in on my senses and being aware. Gained some further insight to this journey which I’m appreciative of.
 

Day 34 - A Year to Clear - Your Senses

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Lesson 34: Hone One Of Your Senses

Saturday’s lesson has me using one of my senses, taking the lead, having some time focusing on it and noting down what it reveals.

I decided to spend some time with my intuition. I meditated on it and accidentally fell asleep. I sometimes get too relaxed and this happens, but oh well! Anyway, my intuition has revealed a lot of inner knowing that I didn’t really listen to. I’ve opened myself up to a whole part of me that was always inside but I didn’t trust. There is always some times of doubt as always but I have developing abilities that surprises me all the time. I feel like I can really direct the power within me a lot better than I ever used to. It’s funny how you can wake up to yourself. I know I am the only person that can make my life enriched. I know I can be the truest version of myself by really delving into what I find the most enjoyable and follow my dreams in this life.

As I develop into my abilities, I know I will slowly help people. I guess I’m already a magnet for others to gain some insight. I feel like my words hold power and that people are naturally drawn to me for a perspective they haven’t gained yet. I don’t like to dance around subjects nor give advice that you want to hear. I’m always honest and try to advise what’s best from there. I gain all this from intuition and not my own personal feelings on the matter.

In my meditation, I was just really standing on a beach watching the sunset. There was a sentence that flashed up but I couldn’t see the words clearly. I tried to focus on them, but it started out as “I am going to be self-….”. Maybe that last word is yet to be determined or it’s always going to be ever changing as I change as an individual. There are many words that can fill that space now– reliant, sufficient, caring, reflecting, knowing… And this will grow as I release some stuff buried in my subconscious and free my mind. I’m happy that I’m on the path that I am on. Other messages that I received from my meditation are to keep on my path because it’s where I need to be and I’ll be healing others one day. It’s a progressive journey with much to learn. I know I will get there.

Day 34 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Money

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Lesson 34: You can look at money...

Saturday’s lesson takes on a view of money. Rather than thinking it’s paper/plastic and in a computer, can we see it as energy flowing. This is a very foreign concept to me – thinking about money like it is moving energy. If we can see it as energy, then we will lose the desire to worry how much we have.

I’m to think about how I view money, think about how much I need to have enough and if I’m sure about it. I’ll comment on this before meditating on it.

I view money as essential… especially growing up in western society. I’ll go as far to say it controls us. It truly does. I can’t eat or have a roof over my head without it. I used to be an over indulgent consumerist, over spending money I didn’t have and creating debt. In fact, I’m still reeling from this but taking more of a control on my financial future. At the moment, I don’t think I have enough because of the debt I created myself. It will take time, but I will get through it with some steps I’ve learned recently. Sometimes I worry that I won’t get through but I have to power through.  I think like everyone else, it’d be nice to have more or in an ideal world, money wouldn’t exist and we could trade in skills, but those are just thoughts. I think I am quite fortunate over some people for sure, but it’s about breaking old habits for me and then I’ll feel comfortable in my own circumstance.

I got too relaxed in my meditation and fell asleep. Whoops! Anyway, I could see myself just throwing money away – quite literally, cash in my hand and I was just throwing it. Pretty much who I can be if not in check. In my meditation, I was walking through a city where everyone looked like mindless drones: we go to work, we work for money and it’s a forced daily routine. The visual was very much robotic. It was like we are so caught up in our routine that we forget to interact with each other, but it’s essential to our livelihood at the same time. I was also reminded the one thing money does for me that brings me joy, and that is travelling. Without money, I wouldn’t be able to see how other cultures live so that’s the upside. It’d be nice if somehow we could travel without spending so much to get there but that’s more a fantasy than anything.

I think I need work on viewing money as energy. I need to clear my debts to feel comfortable and my meditation seemed more like a warning to stop throwing it away. I don’t think we should just carelessly waste money on things we don’t need and that’s the message I have taken. Money is always going to be flowing of the sense of it comes in and goes out but we should still take control of how we manage it.